Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
