Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
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