laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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