My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
