Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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