Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
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