i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
