I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
