1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
