I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Randomize
