Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
