im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
We have started to decorate penises.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
