Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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