people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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