it's too hot outside to masturbate.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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