That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
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