I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
