Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
PANTIES FOUND
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