R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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