I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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