Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
