put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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