dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I am mentally ready for anal.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
