I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
