Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
You know, be my cock's hype man.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
