if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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