i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
