can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
