Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
