I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
