you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
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