im holly from the hills drunk
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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