also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
