Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
