i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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