i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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