Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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