Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
