apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
