i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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