Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
