I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
