Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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