just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
