I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
