But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
