I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
