You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
