There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
