Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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