We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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