You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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