I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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