I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
