Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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